I am single

Uhhhh

I am all about making friends! You are very sweet.

I do. (:

Aww your welcome!!

Life is weird. I use to worry all the time that I was fooling everyone, like even though I do my best to be a good person, a good friend, a good lover, I felt like I wasn’t. Like I was trying but I wasn’t getting there and everyone was playing along when they told me I was good. But, now I think it’s scarier growing up and realizing I am. As shitty as this makes me sound, I really sometimes wish I was jaded. I think life is easier on those who gave up on caring about some things. Because in all honesty, caring as much as I do about people is really hard. And the worst part is feeling alone in it. I didn’t ask to be the good guy, I didn’t ask to have this heart or this conscious and what am I suppose to do when I feel like I’m suppose to be the hero? So many people rely on me because I am genuine. So many people expect so much from me because they know I give a shit. No matter how independent I am, no matter how much I am self sufficient and no matter how much I can think for myself, I am still so easy to walk on with some people. Why? Because I don’t say fuck it. It’s just hard. I love my family but it isn’t my job to try to fix all of our messes just because my opinion is respected. White knight syndrome. The worst. I have to be proactive in this. And that’s why I am turning into a defensive person, and I hate it. As much as I like to think everyone means well, I have been hurt a lot by people who “mean well” and some who really just didn’t care. Caution is good I suppose. I need to tread lightly on the assumption that people really do give a shit. I’ve always said this but it is still such a struggle for me. I have to recognize perspectives. I have to remember that people don’t live and breath the way I do.

Degausser is up there!!! The bridge of that song is incredible. Then again, I have nothing bad to say about any Brand New song ever